We are all in need of love. We all, at some point in life, want to feel loved, wanted and appreciated. This is normal. I know, it’s human nature right? There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel loved or to feel wanted. Actually, if you don’t feel wanted or loved, then I wonder what planet you live on. 🙂 However, in as much as we want to feel loved or wanted, we may end up looking for love in all the wrong places. There are so many opportunities out there that provide love but are they of any value to you?
I was thinking about you today. I treasure you and I love you to the moon and back. I know that your heart is in a tough space right now, but you will be okay in due time. One day at a time. I was thinking about the boys in your life and I think you deserve so much better. You are a beautiful, intelligent, happy young lady and you seem to have very little of an idea what power you wield. Don’t sell yourself short in the name of relationships that will waste your time and end up breaking you…
I’ll share these words that I have learnt over time and I have learnt from people’s experiences as well as their words of wisdom…
- Don’t confuse like or attraction for a boy with your respect for a boy. It is possible to lose interest in someone but it is more difficult to lose respect. Think of the relationship that you have with your dad – you respect him more than you love him and that makes all the difference.. It is a powerful and a beautiful thing when a woman respects a man and when a man respects a woman. Incidentally, if your parents advise you against a man, be sure that they do not respect him, they see much more than you understand and there is no point pursuing that!
- You want a man’s respect more than or before you want his love. A love built on happy feelings, lust, convenience, attraction and fun-times is shallow, putrid and is certainly easily forgotten – a man can use you and walk away with very little guilt attached. But a love built on respect (which I define as sincere, active and dedicated devotion characterized by actively pursuing, treasuring and cherishing of a woman based on admiration of her virtue) will last.
- Use your eyes to make an assessment of the man in question and always be brutally honest with yourself – I believe that you can tell pretty quickly if a man proves good enough to interrogate a little bit further.
Ask yourself these questions:-
Does he keep his word? Does he treat you with kindness, gentleness and patience? Is he willing to go out of his way for you? Is he eager to please you? Does he care about and respect his own family? What are his friends like? Does he spend a lot of time with other women and are you comfortable with this? Someone once told me that usually men who do this look for validation for their egos and usually have very weak relationships with other men and they are usually not respected by other credible men. Is his ego the centre of his world? Is he able to take risks? Is he honest – commission and omission? Is he hard working? Does he put God first – or in the alternative, what does he put first? Does he have a purpose for his life? what is his sexual history? How does he spend his free time? What kind of music does he listen to? Is he too smooth a talker?(When the deal is too good, think twice:)
A man who cannot keep his word is a man you will never be able to rely on, and if he cannot take care of you when you are at your bestest ☺ (young, beautiful and with the world at your feet), this guy will not be able to take care of you when life gets real(responsibility)! 🙂
A man who is confused, scared, passive, effeminate and cowardly is a man that you ought to flee from. I know that a man who is decided to pursue will actually take the risk and will do it. When a man behaves funny, it’s best to assume that the problem is you and that he is simply not willing to fight for you – and that’s fine because not everyone has to like you (to each his own). Don’t let your pride make you offer yourself as a sacrifice wondering why he doesn’t want you….instead, have the humility to reinforce what you know to be true (that everyone should be allowed to make their choices and that God is absolutely in control) and then walk away with your head held high. It’s hard in the interim but it pays big-time benefits later on..
A manipulative man is a dangerous man..
4. Forgive and let go of those who have hurt you and of your own failures – never be afraid to begin again 🙂
- You are a proper, charming, smart, refined, delicate, kind, gentle, pure and lovely lady who should never entertain anyone who would blatantly treat you as anything less. You are not a prostitute, a mistress or a friend-with-benefits.
Over time, I have made silly mistakes, through which I have learnt and become better. I could see almost all the men in my social life in each of those points in one way or another, which made me sit and ask myself if those are the kind of people I want to spend my life with. If there is one thing I have learnt, is that I should never settle for less. Never should I compromise my standards for the sake for a man’s attention. It is never worth it. I deserve so much better, and so much more. Plus if a man cannot love me with the love of God, why then should he even be around? Right? However, in as much as I say all these things, it is easier said than done. How do I not pick up his calls? How do I not even have a conversation? Every time I see him I feel weak. I know it sounds silly, but I am just being honest. I won’t lie to you, I have tried but I tend to have a silly notion that maybe one day, just maybe he will get out of his confusion and see me. Not as just a friend, but as more than that.
According to him, though said indirectly, I am not the kind of lady he wants. My personality is the complete opposite of the kind of woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Things like these are what make me feel like I am not good enough but you know what? I know that there is someone who I complement better than I would ever have complemented him. So yes. I do understand what it is you are going through but a broken heart is never worth it.
Proverbs 4:23; Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it springs the things of life.
XoXo with love
Sheerow
