I know it has been a minute, more like minutes since I last posted, but I am back and here to stay. I have been learning quite a lot and I have been through a lot but God’s grace has been sufficient.
Pain is some sort of suffering right? More like physical discomfort or even emotional discomfort. I have concluded over time that nothing can compare to emotional pain because no amount of aspirin can heal emotional pain. Emotional pain eats you up. It changes a person. Almost as though it comes with all its family members so intent on finishing you 😔. Well, maybe not finish you physically, but it almost drives you insane if not completely.
During the time I was away, I had a lot of soul searching to do. I realised that I had so much pain in my heart, so much bitterness it changed me. It gets to a point where all you know is pain and all that gives you satisfaction is pain. I know it sounds crazy but it is true. Pain becomes your comfort. Pain becomes the new contentment and satisfaction. Joy becomes nothing but a mere part of your imagination. To an extent that physical pain gives you satisfaction. It makes you question the purpose of your existence. You begin to ask the whys and whats and nothing means anything to you anymore.
You don’t actually realise how much pain and hurt you have in your heart until you no longer care about anything anymore. The problem is, we like to harbour hurt and feelings of disappointment and don’t like to deal with them so we like to say that we are okay while we know we are not. I have learnt that it is okay to cry. It is okay to talk about it and vent about it. Mostly pray about it.
Pain can bring you closer or draw you away from God but the choice is yours. As hard as it may be, you need to make a choice. God understands your pain. At some point it felt as though He had forgotten about me. I wanted to believe that He had forsaken me, but guess what? He had always been there for me, I had chosen not see it. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He loves you and he cares. He keeps track of all your sorrows.
He has collected all your tears in His bottle and He has recorded each one in His book. (Psalm 56:8)
This is for you, who is broken and torn, lost and worn tired and hopeless. God is there for you. I am here for you. Praying for you. That God may heal your broken heart and that He may hear your cry. He has done it for me, He will do it for you too. This might not be last heart break it might not be the last time you cry, but I promise you that He will be there through it all. He is closer than a brother. He loves you.
Pain can change you but it cannot compare to the joy that’s coming. Happiness is temporary but Joy is having peace in your heart when the storms in your life are raging. Joy can only come from The Holy Spirit. God loves you and so do I.
XoXo with love